Dave goes on a rant about Christians and Christianity. As always, Dave’s timing is perfect as Christmas is only two days away.

the radio was playing some Frosty the Snowman shit, and I was sitting there while every person who came in wished everyone a Merry Christmas as if this were a Jimmy Stewart movie and not downtown Berkeley.

Christmas with my parents is never perfect. We know each other too well. My mom, who by the way loves her new Lexus more than she ever loved me, wonders aloud if she’ll ever have grandchildren (I’m unmarried and an only child) and suggests that I’m getting so old (35) that I won’t be able to have a successful marriage. She’s now hoping for the quick fix - suggesting I marry a divorced woman with kids. It’s like instant grandkids - just add water/divorced woman. Oh yeah, and she still doesn’t understand why I left that great paying job at the law firm a few years ago. My dad always gets in the middle of our arguments and things tend to blow up. But I’ll tell you this: THANK GOD its not like a Jimmy Stewart movie around here. I’d have to buy a shotgun and end it all. I like things just the way they are around this house, and after three or four days here I’ll be sad to leave.

Dave, next year I think you should come to Washington and spend time with the Arrington family for Christmas. We’ll have your favorite Christmas meal, chinese food, and I’ll light a Hanukkah candle for you.