I’ve just arrived in Zaragoza, Spain for the Innovate conference. It’s 2:30 in the morning, Spain time, and I’m a mess.
Why? It all started when I realized my housekeeper had washed my passport (my fault, not hers) just a few days before I was to leave. I spent a large part of the week getting a replacement and in doing so pissed off a bunch of people because I had to reschedule or cancel meetings.
Then, we rolled out the new TechCrunch look on Thursday night, so I didn’t sleep much (I was up until 5 am taking my beating in the comments like a man). On Friday, after little sleep, I rushed to Tiecon to moderate a panel on Web 2.0 that ended at 4 pm. My flight to London was at 7 pm and I hadn’t packed yet, so I rushed home, packed and got to the airport just in time for the flight.
Other than getting no sleep on the flight because I’m 6’4 and the flight attendants bang my knees every time they come by with the trolley (and then give me a dirty look), everything went smoothly in London and on the flight to Madrid. But then things fell apart. Mostly because I had gone two full days without sleeping, and I was pissy about all of the damn “too green” comments about TechCrunch.
People here in Spain don’t speak Spanish. Or at least the Spanish that I learned in high school from my Mexican Spanish teacher. I don’t understand what they’re saying, and they certainly don’t understand me. This lisp thing, whatever the reason for it, just sounds wrong to me. Even getting a taxi to the train station from the Madrid airport was impossible.
And the conference, as I mentioned, is in Zaragoza, far from Madrid. I knew I had to buy a train ticket. But I wrote the name down wrong. Instead of Zaragoza, I wrote Zarazoga. So I needed to say (with a lisp) Thhereathhoga, but I was saying Zaragoza. They literally couldn’t understand me. And when they finally did, they notified me that the train was sold out.
I’ve never heard of a train selling out. You go to the train station, you buy a ticket, you get on the train. They don’t sell out.
I went to the informatioin booth to find out what hotel I should stay in, and try to book a train ticket for tomorrow. They didn’t speak English, and my Lating American Spanish got me nowhere.
Then I realized I could rent a car…I mean, how big is Spain anyway? If all of Europe is the size of the US (it is, economy wise, but close enough), then Spain must be about the size of the bay area, right? I could rent a car and probably beat the train there.
I got a car (this was actually pretty easy), got a map and headed off just as the sun set. I drove West towards Portugal becasue it was dark and I misread highways A1 and A2 on the map (don’t do this). Zarazoga is actually East. That killed an hour. When I finally found the right way, it was very dark and very late and the only music on the radio was really bad Euro club music (no Gypsy Kings). So I pulled out my iPod and cranked up Eminem because I was feeling angry and sorry for myself. I had the iPod in one hand and a Red Bull in another hand and the steering wheel in there someplace. People here drive really fast, I noticed right about then, and pass aggresively on either side of you (just like the US). But this car has power steering and my car at home doesn’t and I oversteered trying to move away from the rushing lights and nearly killed myself.
And by the way, Spain is significantly bigger than the bay area.
But I finally arrived in Zaragoza at about 1 am after a very long drive across a significant part of this country. I had the hotel address written down, but the streets here aren’t marked. They just aren’t. I dare anyone to prove otherwise. Being who I am, I refused to stop and ask for directions in my broken Spanish. I just drove around the city for an hour, street by street, until I found the hotel.
Everything is good now though. The hotel has excellent wifi access. I may not leave the room again until I have to leave. 
Update: Did someone link to this? The comments keep coming, and they’re getting a big aggressive.
I apologize for any offense, none was intended. I was mostly making fun of myself. I’ve lived in Europe three different times and have visited Spain on multiple occasions. I enjoyed my time there and the people, as always, are very friendly.
hey dude, didn’t you had trouble with the manual gear box of the car? Remember the next time that Spain is far away from the banana republic concept… And in general we don’t like speed limits at all, but Portugal is even worse, so did you realized that (due to metric system) the speed limits are measured in KM/h instead of MPH?
Well… I know that for an american Europe may be kinda strange uses, people language, and surprises, but is worthy for you to come. Next time, rent a car with GPS embedded… and drive carefully
Cheers!!!
Latin-americans do speak a rather non-standard Spanish. But the Spanish spoken in many places in Spain is also hard to understand, most notably in Andalucía, Extremadura, Galicia and Islas Canarias. The inhabitants of those regions colonized South and Center America in the XVI century. The “sound” of Spanish in Mexico, Bolivia, etc has some points in common with the Spanish language in the south of Spain. That lisp-thing, for instance, is not present in many andalucian areas. When the “c” (“th”) sounds like an “s” (“ss”), we say that people are “seseando” (and, on the other hand, when the “s” always sounds like a “c” (the lisp thing), we say that they are “ceceando” (¿thetheando?)). In standard Spanish, “s” and “c” are two very different sounds.
Usually we can understand a Mexican speaking person without too many problems. However, I’ve seen some mexican movies that had to be subtitled into Spanish (in some parts) in order for us to understand it. I think that something similar happens with australian or scottish accents for the standard English speakers.
We, the spanisn, don’t have any problem understanding mexican spanish nor spanish from any other country. It’s just like american english and UK english, you might find a few words that are different and that’s all about it. So my guess is that you were not able to speak any spanish at all, either mexican nor from Spain. If I was you I would go back to your old high school to get my money back
.
Also, it would probably be a good idea to read something about the country you’re travelling to before hand. There are millions of travelling guides for free in the Internet.
I’m sorry about all that hassle you got in Spain, but it was a consequence of your ignorance about the country itself and your uncapability to speak the language, even when you thought you could.
JODÉ QUE PAVO MÁS PRIGAO MACHO!! este es (como me pasó a mi de intercambio..) de los que les regalas un jamón y a la mañana siguiente lo están cociendo los muy gilipollas.
O que les preguntas si saben donde está España y te señalan Chiapas. Paciencia..
The problem is that you and many people like you think that Spain is an european Mexico alike, and it’s not as well as England or Wales is not an european USA alike.
We do share the spanish lenguage with Latin America with just as many differencies and particularities as you may find between Australia, New Zeland, Northern Irleand and USA english, to say a few.
Next time, open your mind to this: Every country is different, plus every region y every country is different also. Here in Spain not only we have a total 19 regions but also they are devided in a total of 52 provincies and all of them have small (sometimes big) differences.
Anyhow, I think that your spanish level had to be extremely basic if you couldn´t just take a cab and things like that. Next time, get some more practice and good luck!
you are American,
so you got money,
next time.. just buy the cab and the driver too.
you don´t need any kind of culture, don´t you?
so.. BEE U.S.A. be BUSh
later mate.
Forget all those trolls. Your post is very fun. I’m from Madrid and I agree with Tom Raftery’s wife: Mexican and Spanish could be like USA english and Britsh english (as well as there are many differets accents like in every country).
Better luck next time
PS: you apear in meneame.net, the spanish digg. That’s the reason you’ve get so many comments.
Some dude above remarked about you reinforcing the stereotype of the typical american. True indeed. Cant understand that a country which is an empire and has (now i seriously doubt that) the highest levels of education, investigation, might and power in the world turns to ignorant, dumb and helpless when not in american soil, and start blaming others instead of themselves (“people in spain dont speak spanish” that looks a Homer quote, for god’s sake). There’s something wrong somewhere.
Im spanish (from Spain, amigos),Ive been to the US and I have been living in the UK for more than 6 years already, and Im pretty sure that you, Michael, wouldn’t understand a geordie (someone from Newcastle, northern england) even with the captions on. Spanish speakers all around the world can easily understand each other. Dont believe the andalusian who said he can barely understand people from the north… that’s something typical spanish. We usually treat better foreigners than their own compatriots.
¡Más suerte la próxima vez!
A mí me pasó lo mismo cuando fui al Reino Unido. Supuestamente mi nivel de inglés es bilingüe, lo que quiere decir que me expreso igual de bien en inglés que en español, pero al llegar allí no entendía nada y la gente de allí a mí tampoco me entendía.
Me pasé una semana dando vueltas con una libretita escribiendo en inglés todo para que me entendieran, pero me lo pasé bien
You were linked by a spanish news page (http://meneame.net/). It’s a kind of blog where readers and subscribers vote to get the news proposed to the front page. You can consider it as a clon of Digg in spanish.
That’s why you got so many spanish readers for one day. The article in “meneame” wasn’t critic with you at all, it was just making a joke about your peculiar vision of Spain, and comparising it with our vision of other countries (you can swear it’s about the same).
Sorry for the nasty comments, there are other polite too, just understand that some people may feel hurt for the way you tell the story, and of course, try to get your money back for the spanish course you did. I think it wasn´t too effective. All the best and regards from Spain.
You can read it here.
España vista por un extranjero
Sorry for all the trolling you are receiving. You are getting a taste of a very Spanish flaw: sometimes we insult very easily.
Very funny story. I cannot find the street signs either.
On your next trip, please try before hand http://maps.google.com/
This is what happens when you think of Spain as a third world country as Mexico…
Lisp?? Not really…different ponunciation. The problem is that the Spanish you Americans learn at school is a piece of crap. In Spain, we learn british English…why don’t you just learn Spanish from Spain?? Sometimes is hard to us to understand people from Southamerica cuz they speak a shitty Spanish…and that’s the trash you learn at school.
Regular trains don’t sell out…The High-Speed train (or AVE) does. So next time, get some information about transportation in Spain. You’ll see that regular trains are cheaper and also don’t sell out ever.
Streets in Spain also have their names in almost every corner, on the walls of the buildings. We don’t use american style pole signs for the names (or whatever the name is).BTW, if you are lost, you can also look for the traffic signs with directions because our cities are all compact and we dont have 5 lane highways going through the city. You can walk on almost every street. So now you know for if you come back.
Also, we don’t drive fast…you guys drive too slow in the States. And besides all of your traffic patrols and controls the US has the first place in car mortal accidents statistics.
About the music…Euro Club music?? Well, I know some Spanish rappers (all of them but two are white) and I can assure you they would beat the crap out of his face singing.
I’m telling you these beacuse I’ve lived in the States for a year and I could notice how few Americans know about the world out of their own bounderies. It’s like: I’m from Spain….wow, you’re a Mexican…No, from Spain, Europe….no way, Spain is in Mexico…!!!!!!!! I just can’t stand it.
Well….I really had fun reading the adventures of an American guy in Spain. And don’t think this is an agressive post. I’m just….telling you
In the Music part of my post i was talking about Eminem…just in case you dont get the point
Group of Ignorants….
Do you think that Spain is the 3rd world? Your Mum stinks, you crap!!! Spain belongs to Europe and the currency is Euro, not pesos.
As Javi mentioned before regular trains do not sold out, however, AVE (fast train) do….
Think before writing, if you can….
viva España! Yankees go home!
I just wanna say that I´m from Zaragoza and of course the streets are marked…. !!
Bye!
Oh my… now I’m a little bit ashamed of some of the people from Spain. This post was linked in the spanish version of Digg (www.meneame.net) because it’s curious to see how strangers see our country but you know… there’s undesirable people everywhere :-/ Just don’t pay any attention to them, it’s not worth it
Im from spain and it is true, pleople drive very fast, it is crazy. People die very much in the road, autorities are making hard work to stop this accidents, but it is impossible, now comes more hard laws.
A search for “spain + lisp” on Google has you ranked 6th currently. May be the origin of some of the hostile remarks regarding the language?
I found it completely annoying too. Not their fault. Not my fault. Just one of those cultural differences we all have to get over.
Thats how the real spanish is spoken so puhhhlease dont make a fool out of yourself.Why dont the latin americans say “Senk you” instead of “thank you” with a “lisp”?Because thats how english is supposed to be spoken,right? Ok then ditto with THE spanish.You would also find “tacky” someone sayin “senk you” instead of “thank you” Am i wrong folks?And they still have the nerve to joke about the “lisp” LOL!yea exactly the same as a lisp *rolls eyes* puhhhhhlease…
Im spanish and i agree, streets in spain are not very well indicated. It is true though, that tehy are all marked but they aren’t as clearly spottable as in the rest of european countries, that’s for sure. Even i have problems sometimes finding a street in a city different from mine. It is a common claim from those of us who have lived outside spain and can actually tell the difference. And about the trains, yeah they are late, they are difficult to book on weekends and holidays and you´ll be lucky if the engine doesn´t break. Machines are pretty old. Better luck next time
interesting opinions offered by all.. i would just like to say that i think the majority of us understood that mike was speaking out of frustration. speaking a foreign language is not a skill that comes easily to all. however, i find that spaniards are some of the easiest people to get along with and the most willing to help a stranger in need. btw, mike.. did you not find it at least welcoming/reassuring that in spain stop sings are labeled ‘stop’ and not ‘alto’ or ‘pare,’ as they are in the rest of the spanish-speaking world? things can’t get any more nifty than that for an english-speaking tourist when even the roadway signage caters to the anglos. cheers!